I’m in a love-hate relationship. In fact, I’m in over my head.

Some days I’m totally into it. Most of the time, I want to run away screaming and never look back. Some days I do. Scream, that is. Running’s never been one of my strengths.

This book and me. It’s the toughest relationship I’ve ever maintained.

Thirty five years of marriage hasn’t been a breeze, ya’ll. But, this book project? Four years in and I’m stretched like Silly Putty. But, that’s what I asked for when I decided to do something bigger than me. When I invited you in on this search for our God-created identity.

Our original design hides inside all of us. The one who’s meant to live in freedom. The one who’s meant to find joy in life even when it’s flat out hard.

But, we wrestle with our God-given design. Even when we don’t intend to, sometimes we make life harder than it has to be. I believe we’re all wired as rebels at some level. To doubt, to question, to push back a tad.

My two-year-old grand-babies, Alex and Luna, are strong-willed. I don’t see it as “terrible twos.” I marvel at the potential of all that sass. So, the challenge is not to crush their little spirits, but redirect their energy for good.

Let’s not be too quick to toss a vital piece of how we’re made. We are fighters.

Jesus was a fighter. And we’re made in God’s image. So, I guess it’s a matter of using it for good, right?

Jesus rebelled to give us abundant life. He beat our soul’s enemy who seeks to keep us living below our created potential. Jesus fought to turn our eyes and hearts back to the most important part of our divine design: Constant connection with our Creator. Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

That’s what this book writing is doing for me. It’s magnifying my need for Him. Not just in my writing but in every part of life.

When we get in over our heads, God’s rebel Spirit keeps us in the fight.

What are you facing that’s bigger than you? When all you can do is cry out, “God, I can’t do this … I quit,” He lifts your head, scoops you up, and reminds you who you are and Whose you are. You are loved beyond measure. Treasured beyond understanding.

And yes, you are equipped. With all you need.

“Be confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion .” ~Philippians 4:6

Now, my friend, let’s rock this day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hear you. Life hasn’t gone how you imagined. It’s not always neat and tidy. In fact, today is quite messy.

And this is our common human experience. We have moments, hours, days, months when our faith fails and darkness reigns. It’s okay to feel it, to say it. God knows it. Jesus empathizes with us in our darkest hour.

On the cross, he asked “Why?” In his own human experience, Jesus felt the Father’s distance too. It seemed he was forgotten. Feeling separated from God is a desperate place to be.

But, in the moment Jesus breathed his last, that gap was filled. The veil in Jerusalem’s temple— separating man and woman and child from God’s presence— was torn, removed, destroyed. Forever.

That space between us and Father God is filled with Grace.

We are free to enter and pray boldly. We are free to enter and speak honestly. We can have the audacity to sit with God and get really real. And, truth is, we can stay in his presence. His Spirit lives in us, if we so choose.

So, here we stand on the other side of history. His Story gives an open invitation to approach Grace’s throne. We can stand before him justified—as if we never sinned. Yes, think about that for a sec.

The cross of Christ justifies us. God sees us as though we NEVER sinned. And that’s just the beginning, my dear friend.

But first, we all face the questions and the decision, Is Jesus Lord or not? Do I believe in his power to save me and raise me to new life with him?  Or not?  Being separated from God is a desperate place to be. There’s great power and potential in a moment.

We say yes and it just happens. In that moment, we trade death for eternal life and the cross has the final word.* On sin and shame and guilt and fear and death. Always. It doesn’t mean we won’t experience darkness again. It means we will see Redemption create collateral beauty in it.

I am compelled to thank the Lord for every single lesson or truth I’ve learned by walking through the darkest of times. Times I thought I wouldn’t make it, times when I questioned “why?” times when I wondered where God had gone. And why had the darkness taken over. But, time and again he’s brought me through. And time and again, I offer up my deepest praise for the journey. Isn’t that what Easter is all about? New beginnings born from deep loss.  ~ Sandi Carlson, https://deeperwaters.blog/

My friend, there is redeeming value in our messy human experience. Though it seems it will never end, it’s a segment of time. “You will grieve but your grief will turn to joy.” Jesus empowers us to suffer well.

Though is seems we’re abandoned, we’re not.

God hears you. Life hasn’t gone how you imagined. It’s not always neat and tidy. In fact, today is quite messy. My friend, let’s watch for beauty. And a miracle will spark in the co-existing of joy and grief. Right here. In the Presence of God.

 

I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life. ~ John 8:12

 

 

Inspired by a message from B. Wangler. Watch it @ http://c1naz.org/media/media-item/355/when-darkness-reigns

*Listen to Newsboys sing “The Cross has the Final Word.” It’ll bless your socks off. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI1E6s-5hVI NEWSBOYS

 

Photo:  Pixabay.com

I’m a tad obsessed with Billy Graham. His humility and simplicity. His love for people and Jesus. Though he’s with His Savior now, Graham’s  messages are evergreen and never stray from the path to real, abundant life. Jesus. Always Jesus.

Yes, I’m smitten. Now, even more as I hear his children’s stories.

Ruth tells about a time in her life after a messy divorce. She dated a man her children didn’t like and her parent’s cautioned her to slow down. Describing herself as “stubborn, willful, and sinful,” she ignored their advice and married him. She realized her mistake right away. Afraid of him, she left three weeks later.

On her two-day drive home, she wondered how to tell her father. Can you imagine how shame probably harassed her?

What a failure. You’re an embarrassment. 

Rounding the corner to her parents’ yard, Ruth saw him waiting for her.

A bit reluctant, she stepped out of the car. Her daddy wrapped his arms tight around her. “Welcome home.”

No lecture. No shame or blame or condemnation.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells us that God runs to us with wide-open arms and kisses, with compassion and celebration plans, especially when we return from being “stubborn, willful, and sinful.”

Yep, I’ve been there.

But nothing can separate us from this relentless love. It shows us we’re treasured and valued beyond measure. We’re worth pursuing. Every single time.

When’s the last time you really thought about this unconditional love that doesn’t give up on you? It directs and corrects but it never condemns. The character defects of our earthly father do not exist in our Heavenly Father.

So, let’s focus on that. Understanding and experiencing God’s love. It’s a bit like going to a waterfall to fill a teacup. So much overflow to soak in, but with daily practice, it’ll get from our head to our heart.

God is patient and very pleased that we seek him. He is our good Father. And I’m a sap for good daddy stories.

That day in the driveway, Ruth Graham saw what her daddy spent his life telling the world: “My father was not God, but he showed me what God was like … When we come to God with our sin, our brokenness, our failure, our pain, and our hurt, God says, ‘Welcome home.'”

My friend, our Father not only waits for us to return to him, he runs to us and meets us right in the middle of our messes.  Let’s soak in this forgiveness and unconditional love.

 “May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand … how wide, how long, how high, how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” ~ Ephesians 3:18-19

                                                                                           

Photo borrowed from Pixabay.com

 

Last time we met here, I was low. Not depressed or anxious, just lying low. Resting body, mind and spirit, careful to not get caught up in the stress of making Christmas happen but letting it happen in me. I was getting quiet and reclaiming my peace.

You may be familiar with Luke’s story of two sisters. Can you imagine Martha and Mary’s excitement as they prepared their home for Jesus’ visit? I hear Martha banging cabinet doors in the kitchen, frustrated that her sister won’t help. I get it. I’d want things perfect too.

Martha complains to Jesus and we hear his gentle correction: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 

Mary sets aside the busy-ness of family demands and cultural norms and sits with Jesus. She’s ready to learn and grow her faith. 

More than ever, this has become my focus too: Sitting with Jesus.

Sometimes talking, sometimes quiet. Sometimes alone with a cup of coffee watching the sunrise, sometimes with my grandbabies watching them play and chatter and giggle. 

Not because I’m super spiritual. It’s the only way to hang on to my sanity. My doing, doing, doing has to be balanced with just being. Being still with Jesus. It makes me easier to live with. Just ask my husband.

Practicing the presence of Jesus is vital. Not as part of a religious checklist but because our lives demand it, don’t they? Staying connected reminds us he’s always with us. He’s beside us in the not-so-beautiful, not-so-happy moments too. 

He sees us at our best and our worst and it doesn’t phase him a bit. In fact, he welcomes our raw honesty. Ever read David’s Psalms?

God works with scared, messy, and authentic.

We all have our inner human struggles. Pride, doubt, anger. Regret, low self-worth, loneliness. You name it. Then there’s the outward stuff of life experience that can throw us off-kilter. It’s easy to detach or get distracted. To lose our bearings and run on spiritual fumes. Peace and joy, even our hope, can trickle through the cracks of a broken spirit. And he welcomes that too.

Empty. Numb. Hence, my lying low.

Patient and deliberate focus, to live from my healing and not my hurt was all I had. And all I needed. So, I’m getting some fight back. Slow and steady. I breathe and hold back from jumping ahead. I hear what  trickled through the cracks, now flowing in. Jesus, my Living Water. Yes, I think I’ll linger here a while.

My friend, God calls us to spiritual rest. Let’s choose “what is better.” Sitting with Jesus, we find our bearings, our center. If we let him, he’ll bring light and life to any situation. He’s here. He’s got our todays and our tomorrows.

In these weeks leading to Easter and beyond, may we choose well. May we create new habits and deeper connections. I pray the busy-ness in us and around us, our worries and our upsets, will not keep us from The One most needed. 

Peace and quiet for your journey. 

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ~ Romans 15:13

Photo borrowed from Pixabay.com