I’m sorry. I gotta keep it real. Again. There’s a season in a woman’s life that may breeze in and out on a daisy-laden path. But today, it’s slamming my mind and body with the chaos of a hurricane and the slow inside-out burn of a volcano.
My dear male readers, if you’re still here: Run away or proceed on tiptoes. I know. Just when you think you understand women, we change again. It’s like trying to stabilize tectonic plates in a tug-of-war with the sun, moon, gravity, and lava from the earth’s core.
“The Change.” That’s what my mom’s generation called it. What a weak word for this bizarre paradigm shift of body, mind, and spirit. “The Chaos” is more like it.
Here I am, in this holistic onslaught, hoping to tap out rational thought onto my computer screen as my mind bounces on a toddler-filled trampoline. Stretched tight, pummeled and pinging, clashing and screaming.
And I really need my brain right now. After signing my pending book contract, I’ll get stretched even further. Already am, just thinking about the writing and marketing which includes all sorts of scary stuff. Like speaking in public. With my voice. In front of people. About my book, which is halfway done but has turned sideways in the birth canal. Yes. Ouch.
Drastic change, even a happy one – a move, a new job, or publishing a book– is scary and disorienting. And the unwanted ones are even more difficult.
They happen and we have little or no control. We can only control our response to the fear and chaos. At first, we might recoil and resist then we rock and roll.
There’s something to learn in this gut-wrenching process. From loss to new normal. Though the pain and struggle are very real, we give ourselves permission to feel and heal. To let go of how our life used to be and accept where it is now.
Here’s where we ask God for courage to see and to change what we can: Us. We ask for strength to accept what we can’t change: Everything and everyone else. We breathe deep and ask for new vision and new purpose. We use change to make us better, not bitter.
It’s not easy. I know. But, remember God’s promise:
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2
God knows your name, he knows your voice, and he knows your struggle. Talk to him and then to a friend or a counselor. We aren’t meant to do this alone. That’s why I see my counselor every Tuesday. She’s helping me unravel this hot mess and giving me courage to face my fears.
We really can be whole and free in the middle of chaos, my friend.
Strength, peace, and love to you.
Photo by Robin Melvin
Joshua 1:5-7
You are so in your element! Enjoy all things.
Hi Gary! Thank you for that Joshua passage. I need it & will meditate on it this week. Get it from my head to my heart 🙂 You & Linda have been such encouragers on my journey. It was in Cove Church where I first sensed the scary call that I’d speak to women’s groups someday. It’s getting really real & still scares me. Peace to you & Linda.