Ashley Nicole’s Legacy

Our daughter, Ashely Nicole, was born May 1st, 1984. We had her for nine days before she passed away. My husband and I were nineteen with a toddler at home. We had no clue what to do with such head-spinning, heartbreaking grief.

And here we are forty-one years later.

If you read my other stories, you’ll see I don’t shy away from grief and heartbreak …

… but today we celebrate.🥳

Because not long ago, life got hard again. Really hard. For a while, I lost sight of the joy parts of my story.

Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you are there. Maybe you need to hear some good news?

God is here. He wants to renew our joy. 

He wants to lift our gaze so we can see above our sadness, past the struggle. Setting our sights higher doesn’t mean we stuff our pain or forget our people. We turn it around. We move forward with our grief and let it inspire us. To embrace life, love, and purpose.

Because God can use hearts like ours, gouged by sorrow.

That raw space will open up to receive joy again. And deeper gratitude and compassion.

When we appreciate and embrace the ones still here, we honor the ones we miss. And in doing so, a little bit of them lives on.

A few days after Ashley Nicole died, a hospital chaplain gave us pins that say, “I Am loved.”**  Sometimes, I use my pin to tell her story. How God wrapped us  in grace. How he patiently waited as we found our zig-zaggy way to him. How he gives beauty for ashes. Always.

Over the years, I’ve kept my little red and white pin close by. In a shadow box, in my purse, now on a book shelf amid my rocks. It reminds us we’re strong. It reminds us we’ve persevered through some really tough stuff. And we are resilient.

     Ashley Nicole’s little life leaves a legacy. And I’m determined to use it for good. 

Joy is a gift, a part of who God created us to be.  We won’t always feel it. But remember, it’s not gone. It’s just hiding.

Jesus offers us abundant life. May we lift our eyes above the struggle, open our hearts to healing, and keep moving forward.

💗☮🙏🏻

 

One way I turn sadness into joy is to bless others (at Jewel-Osco) on Ashley’s birthday:

Click Here to Read “Grief & Joy Can Coexist?”

**Thirty years after the hospital chaplain gave us our “I Am Loved” pins, we discovered a whole bowl of them at Helzberg Diamonds in the mall! We had no idea where they came from. We are grateful for their message on one of our darkest days. Thank you, Helzberg Diamonds! 😊

 

“Don’t forget that in the midst of all your pain and heartache, you are surrounded by beauty, the wonder of creation, art, your music and culture, the sounds of laughter and love, of whispered hopes and celebrations, of new life and transformation, of reconciliation and forgiveness.”~ W. Paul Young