Our first daughter, Ashley Nicole, was born on May 1st and was with us for only nine days. Though she’s always with me, those first couple weeks of may are an especially tender time.

We all experience loss. It’s our common and unavoidable human experience.

Grief is the strangest emotion we’ll ever encounter. Often subtle, yet strong. And so personal, yet universal.

I was a whopping twenty years old when Ashley died. It was before I rooted my life in Jesus and I was lost under multiple layers of pain. They just about killed me, mentally and spiritually.

When I stepped into this new life in Christ, I embraced it. With an “all-in” determination, I tapped into the power to free my mind and spirit.

Best decisions ever.

But grief doesn’t just go away, does it? It still shows up. Some days, we’re Super Woman punching pain in the face. Some moments, grief whispers a sweet memory and we simply smile and sigh.

But oh my friend, I hear you. Sometimes it requires us to breathe deep and make a raw choice to stay in it and above it. This takes a ton of grit and grace.

We remember and feel and sit with sadness. We don’t rush to the next thing to distract us. We let tears release what our minds can barely accept and what our bodies should not hold on to.

Because we know that unprocessed emotions literally get stuck in us. Scripture and science agree on that. They wreak havoc on our systems and create dis-ease of body, mind, and spirit. So, we choose to keep them moving up and out and forward.

Then, at some point, we get up. We wash our faces. We live. We worship. We even delight.

We get to redeem it all for good. For us. For others. For abundant Life.

Does this make you cringe? Maybe it’s too soon. Maybe this is  hitting home … hitting your heart …  deeper than ever.

Please know:  I see you and I hear you. It’s all too new and too heavy. And that’s okay because you’re right where you need to be.

We just came through the strangest of seasons. The pandemic illuminated our global grief experience. Quite personal, yet so weirdly universal. Maybe it’s weighed on loss that was already as “heavy as wet sand.” *  Maybe it feels a bit like quicksand.

And quicksand sucks. So, hang on.

Grief is a lot to process. We can’t always do it alone. It might be more than your friends and family can understand. Only God truly knows, hears, and sees you. And it may be time to talk to a counselor.

Wherever you are today, pray for wisdom and comfort. Scripture says God sings over us so ask to be awakened to the  Spirit’s calm and comforting Presence. Be wrapped in it like a big warm, snugly blanket.

For your journey, may you find Peace, Love, Grit, and Grace. ☮️❤️

*Job 6:3

 

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“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. Listen carefully; I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the wasteland.” ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

Okay, so this is weird.

It feels a bit like we’ve tumbled into the Twilight Zone. The whole globe has slowed, and stopped, and shifted.

I write a lot about pausing, slowing down, and being in the moment. But sheesh. This is epic, isn’t it? The greatest pause ever.

So, here we are. In this mind warp.

If only I could make soup and casseroles for everyone. I wanna send cards and clean your yards and deliver groceries. But, I can’t reach all of you. So I wait for words in this brand-new experience.

How about wonky and discombobulated?

Unsettling. And raw and awful and awkward.

And there’s all these new and strange questions:

How do I shop? How do I make a face mask? Where do I get toilet paper? How do I safely connect with family and friends? How does an introvert find quiet when it’s suddenly so darn people-y in the house?

For some of us, it’s a bit too quiet.

Author C.S. Lewis lived through epidemics and the 1918 pandemic. Throughout his life, he wrestled with discombobulating situations. He wrote a lot about doubt and faith, joy and grief. Here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

Yep, for sure. This “flattening the curve” is a learning curve.

It’s our messy, unpleasant opportunity. To grow. To trust. To flip this stuff.

Ugh. Come on. Can’t we just eat Cheetos?

I wish. Stuffing and avoiding stress will just eat us from the inside out.

Remember Job? He has a whole section of the Bible to himself. It’s his raw and bleeding story of wrestling with extreme loss and gut-wrenching questions. He lost everything: family, friends, wealth, and health.

Then he lost hope and asked God to let him die.

“But even in the most calamitous circumstances, Job had a very thin thread of joy.” ¹

He found comfort and reassurance because he still believed the words of God. Though he despaired, even to the point of death, his faith was tenacious. Stubborn and persistent. And we can know this rare and extreme joy.

“It’s a joy that doesn’t deny reality, but it does defy it.” ² It wrestles and wins in the face of staggering loss.

This joy literally means, “to leap like a horse so stones spark. It’s not just jumping for joy; it’s dancing on disappointment.” ³

Now that moves me.

“Somehow, Job took a small measure of pleasure despite the pain. Would he have changed the circumstances if he could?  In a heartbeat. But he found joy in one simple fact”: ⁴

He didn’t forget or deny his Creator’s presence or promises. Though it may have felt like it, God had not deserted him.

After Jesus died, his followers were discombobulated too. Fear, grief, despair, and confusion rocked their world. Some hid; some went back to their old way of life. But then, Hope rose.

And Jesus changed everything.

Death becomes  Life. Dark becomes Light. Fear surrenders to courage. Despair holds on to hope.

And grief makes room for joy.

Jesus’ darkest days were the birth pains of a whole new era. His Story split history. And it’s about to happen again, my friend. This power to create new beginnings changes our story too.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. But I have come so you may have a full, abundant life.” ~ John 10:10

What if ~ in this epic interruption ~ we focus more on God’s presence and promises? What if ~ as earth exhales ~ we take a deep soul-cleansing breath? In this pregnant pause, let’s take bubble baths and eat chocolate. Let’s re-group and set new intentions and priorities for our lives. On the other side of this, What will be essential? As the world opens back up, What will we let back in?

Because Hope rose, every brutal life lesson is a beautiful opportunity. Shall we dance?

Unchanging God, because you’re already on the other side of this, we know we’ll be okay. Teach us to trust, remind us to breathe. Show us who we’re created to be. As we seek a new self, a new community, a new world. One day at a time, one neighbor at a time. ~ Amen

 

1-4; Mark Batterson, Whisper: How to Hear the Voice of God

 

Photo from www.Pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

This is one of my favorite passages from Isaiah. I needed to read it today and soak it in. I pass it on to you and pray you’ll take a quiet moment to breathe deep and own it for yourself. It is true for you, Child of God. May it remind you that you are stronger than you think you are.

Look at what you’ve already walked through. So whether you feel strong or weary today …

Rest in these Promises.

Our Peace for difficult days.

Our Steady Hope in the unknowns.

God’s Unchanging and Unconditional Love on the days we feel we’ve totally blown it.

And Pugs. Just because 😊

 

“But now, [Child of God], the Lord who created you says:

Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine.

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!

When you walk through the fire of oppression,  you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior …

Do not be afraid.“ ~ Isaiah 43:1-2 & 5

                                                                                                                  ☮❤🙌🏻✝🙏🏻

 

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

 

Photo from Pixabay.com

 

Our world is highly anxious and so easily panicked.

But, take heart. Spring is about to bloom. In fact it already has. An article in my local paper, “Out of tragedy springs opportunity,” proves there is always something good and wonderful happening.

Jesus’ tells us that a true neighbor is someone who stops to help another. Especially in the midst of pain and unsure times.

That’s what happened in February as hundreds of neighbors gathered to support the Manka family whose son, Jacob, died last spring. His dad said, “There’s a lot of love in this building … And yes, it does help. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring but we know that we have people who care and are praying for our family. So, yeah, it’s definitely helpful.”

There were neighbors in need and neighbors who stopped to help. Jacob’s spirit, his passion to help others, is quite alive. And I believe Jacob was loved well too. He’s still making a difference because that’s what love does.

With tons of negative media out there, we need to hold on to these good stories, these God stories. Like another I hear from a friend who’s helping Nashville rise up from the tornado that hit a couple weeks ago.

“As I worked as a crisis counselor yesterday, in the most devastated area after the tornadoes, I heard over and over how neighbors are helping neighbors. One person said ‘It doesn’t matter what color they are, what party they voted for, they are humans in need just like us.’”

Ya’ll, Nashville and my hometown are showing us what neighborliness is all about. I bet yours is too.

Hide these stories in your heart. This is how we change our communities and our world. With kindness and compassion, we are the heart, hands, and feet of Jesus.

“We the people” break down dividing walls and rise strong together.

Death and devastation don’t get the last word. The cross is empty. And because Hope rose, we have the power to redeem. We have the tenacity to use pain for good purpose. By putting love’s energy into the living, we serve well and suffer well.

Yes, out of tragedy springs opportunity.

❤😎🙏🏻☮

“I imagine Lent for you and me as a great departure from the greedy, anxious anti-neighborliness of our economy, a great departure from our exclusionary politics that fear the other, a great departure from self-indulgent consumerism that devours creation. And then an arrival in a new neighborhood, because it is a gift to be simple, it is a gift to be free; it is a gift to come down where we ought to be.

Self-giving God, call us to walk the road of newness—a new self, a new society, a new world, one neighbor at a time. May we have traveling mercies this Lenten season. Amen.” ~ Walter Brueggamann

 

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