If you follow my writing journey, you may remember my daughter, Ashley Nicole. She was born on May first, 1984 and passed away nine days later. So, on this anniversary of the day she left, I honor her little life.
I grab grief and flip it.
It’s amazing what we see when we look at it from another angle. It doesn’t mean we hide our pain or stuff away the memories. We simply see grief in a new light. Not something to get rid of, but something to teach us.
We own it.
We let it increase our capacity for pain. We let it grow our ability to live and love with purpose. In so doing, the people we lost live on.
Because of our losses, there comes a day when we can look in the face of profound grief and smile. A few weeks ago, by God’s grace, I did just that. I greeted guests who came to our church for a funeral.
I never met fourteen-year-old, Ellie Cuiching, but soon learned she didn’t lose her nine-year fight with cancer. She kicked its butt and inspired whole communities. It didn’t take long for Ellie’s message to spread nationwide and beyond.
Pain, sickness, and death can be flipped and used for good.
Because of grief, I can empathize with Ellie’s family. I saw their strong spirit as they allowed joy and grief to coexist. There were smiles and tears and hope and raw sorrow. They let it all intermingle.
Empowered by Ellie’s legacy, they are determined to live on and love well.
My pastor attributed Ellie’s courage to this: “She knew she was loved. She found purpose in her pain.” And her parents found strength in knowing, “God’s grace is truly amazing.”
Can you see that power? God uses a heart that is gouged by sorrow.
Will you believe it’s possible? God fills our emptiness with peace so we can know deeper joy, deeper compassion, and a higher purpose. We honor God and the ones we miss by embracing those still here.
Dear friend, there are days we feel the full weight of our sorrow. I bet Ellie did too. Yet, she tells us, “Live on and follow your dreams.”
Child of God, we are loved. We find purpose in our pain because God’s grace truly is amazing. He took the cross and flipped it into something beautiful. So, we can too.
“What a wonderful God we have—he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
God, take all these messy-beautiful broken pieces and show us how to use them for good.
To see more of Ellie’s story visit: https://www.loveforellie.com
Loved the inspiring thoughts in this post…
We reach out to God in our grief—what else can we do? We take hold of Him much like people in ancient times took hold of the cloak of a great man as they appealed to him. We agree to go where He takes us and eventually arrive at the place where we are able to see our grief from a different perspective, “flipped” as you put it. We rediscover ourselves, often rediscovering God in the process. We know love again…we live on with purpose.
Hello! Thank you for reading! I love your post, “Stillborn.” I’d like to share it here on my blog. My next piece, I’m planning to write directly to moms. So sorry for your losses. I can’t imagine watching my children go through such profound pain. There is so much to know and learn about grief. I hope sharing ours brings comfort and hope to others. Beauty from ashes is my aim:) Peace to you.
Thank you and I am also sorry for your’s.
Sharing the part of grief that we are familiar with helps to heal both others and ourselves. Our sharing and listening creates a sheltered space for grievers explore the emotions and fears taking place in their lives, and offers hope that there is a way through it.
I would be honored if your shared “Stillborn” on your blog. Your new piece idea brings to mind the song “Beautiful Things” by Gungor.
Blessings,
gene
Yes! I love that song. And I find much comfort and purpose in Isaiah 61:1-3, Here’s verse 3: “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning,festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”