It’s All About That Grace

This week actually feels like winter here in the Chicago suburbs. I guess we can’t complain when February decides to show up. Some of us are fighting winter colds and flu bugs. I sit at my desk surrounded by the aroma of Vicks and the hum of a humidifier.

In any life situation, we can choose to grow or grumble. And relationships, especially marriage, give us countless opportunities for both.

My husband and I are morning people. With one difference. While I like to ease into the day with quiet and minimal lighting, Jeff jumps in, singing and flipping every light switch he passes. Way too cheerful for 5:00 a.m.

Yesterday, I sat in lamplight breathing in steam from my coffee, when Jeff’s version of Jason Gray’s “Glow in the Dark” burst my peaceful bubble. If you don’t know the song, think of “Footloose” and the dance. Well maybe not exactly, but that’s what it feels like when dawn hasn’t even peeked over the horizon.

This used to annoy me. But, instead of my usual internal whining about missing my morning bliss, I chose to smile and appreciate my husband. I chose to be thankful for his joy and remember the gift given to me thirty-four years ago, packaged in a hyper seventeen year old. That boy knew how to love, and now even more as he seeks to do it God’s way.

My new reaction to Jeff’s morning enthusiasm surprised me and shows that another unhealthy mindset is changing. God reminds me that it’s not all about me and my comfort.

In Romans 5, we read about grace, God’s immeasurable kindness and mercy. We don’t earn it. We don’t deserve it.

Where sin shows up in bad attitudes, grace doesn’t just replace it with something good, it abounds. It overflows to give us a greater capacity for love and patience.

Grace doesn’t just teach us to do the right thing. It gives us abundant life and then flows to others. If we so choose. We don’t wait until they earn it or deserve it. That’s manipulation.

As Jeff’s joy glows in the dark, I choose to appreciate his uniqueness. I’m learning to admire those quirks that annoy me. Well, most of them. Some simply require a deep-breath prayer to let it go. After all, he’s not supposed to meet all my needs. That’s God’s job.

So, we let each other off the hook. We aim to love better, to be grace-givers, by putting self aside.

We know it’s a lifelong journey. A daily choice. St. Francis got it right when he said,

 “Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives is that of overcoming self.”

Sometimes my husband’s energy is just too much. It bubbles over, kinda like God’s grace. Free and abundant. Sometimes too much of a good thing is just what we need.