It’s been a while, my friends. In my slowing and being still, I’ve created space. To allow new struggle and new wisdom and new healing. Oh, I’ve tried to make it happen. Numb is an awful place to be. But I can’t put words to what I haven’t yet experienced. Some things just take time. God’s, not mine. And I’m reminded what I’ve told you many times. Be patient in the process.
More than ever, I’m seeking it. The peace of Christmas. About six months ago, I hit that wall of anxiety. Somehow, in the midst of chaos, I misplaced my peace and a bit of my shine. But, I’m getting it back.
I think about Mary birthing her first baby in that stinking stable ~ without mom or midwife or pain meds. But, I see her joy as she strokes his cheek and kisses his little nose. Can you sense her delight as the shepherds leave, excited to announce her miracle? She’s given birth to Immanuel, God with us. To Messiah, who’d save us from darkness.
Everything all sparkly and wrapped up in a bow, right?
Nope. I imagine in the midst of Christmas bliss, Mary remembered what she was told nine months earlier, “The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David … ” So she knew Jesus’ future held struggle and danger. She also knew about living under Roman rule, its oppression and violence.
And “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
When Jesus was eight days old, a temple priest told her, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, and many others to rise. He is sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him. As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.”
I bet that knocked the breath out of her for a second.
Mary didn’t understand it all. His birth, their future. But, I imagine she breathed deep, hugged that baby tight, and walked out of the temple ready to do what God called her to do. She simply believed and trusted him to do everything he promised. She didn’t place her peace in people, or an easy life, or her own dreams of security and happiness for herself or her baby.
But, I did. I misplaced my peace in all those things and even wondered if it was lost.
Somewhere along the line, I began to doubt my faith and my God. That he would do what he promises. I forgot about his gift of redemption. That he truly makes beauty out of ashes. I know it. I’ve experienced it. But I got a tad distracted.
So, in my slowing, I seek to simply believe again. Only deeper and higher and wider.
My friend, perhaps you’ve had the breath knocked out of you. In these days leading to Christmas, let’s ponder where we place our peace. It can be “elusive and fragile.”** Let’s wrap it up snug to our chest. Treasure it, protect it. In the middle of joy and uncertainty, Immanuel calls us to a deeper trust.
Hang on, my friends.
“That time of darkness and despair will not go on forever … The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine.” ~ Isaiah 9:1-2
Peace and Joy for your journey.
**Brian Wangler, http://c1naz.org/media/media-item/335/make-peace
All other quotes found in Luke, chapters 1 & 2
Photo from Pixabay.com
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