Robin Melvin, Author at Robin's Nest

Grief & Joy Can Coexist?

Sheesh. Grief. It’s unpredictable, isn’t it?

Sometimes it wafts in on a gentle breeze and other times it hits us like a thunderstorm.

Forty-two years ago, our daughter Ashley Nicole was born on May 1st and passed on the 10th. It’s also my brother’s birthday month. He died suddenly at age twenty-eight. And of course there’s Mother’s Day coming and missing my mom.

I know, you know sorrow too.

Grief is utterly uninvited and unwanted. It wars against every fiber in us because we’re wired to love and nurture life, not to say goodbye.

Whether it’s the loss of a job, a dream, or a relationship ~ grief is our common and unavoidable human experience. But while it’s absolutely universal, it’s intensely personal. And it’s often a lonely place.

So we’re careful not to stuff it or run from it. We breathe deep and sit with the pain.

We let our tears release what our minds can barely accept and what our bodies should not hold on to.

With grit and grace ~ courage and gentleness ~ we make a raw choice to keep our emotions moving up, out, and forward. Because we don’t want to give pain the last word and let it rob us of joy and peace. We want to thrive in this life, don’t we?

Thank God, for this beautiful paradox: We can turn grief around ~ for our good and the good of others.

A few years ago, I started a tradition. On Ashley’s birthday, I go to Jewel-Osco and ask if I can pay for a pre-ordered birthday cake. The first year, the manager showed me a cake with “Happy Birthday, Oma” written in pink frosting. So I blessed Oma, her family, and the bakery manager.

This fun tradition gives me happy tears and honors our baby girl’s memory.

This is Ashley Nicole’s legacy: To redeem pain for good. To trade ashes for beauty, and sadness for joy.

But maybe this message is too soon for you. If so, please know you are not alone. And if it seems you can’t move forward with your grief, maybe it’s time to talk to a counselor. I’ve spoken to many through the years.

Wherever you are today, I pray you experience God’s comforting presence. May you find Peace and Happy Tears.

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” ~ Isaiah 61:3

☮️❤️

Photo from Pixabay.com

Be Strong When You are Weak

by Robin Melvin Leave a Comment

Through Christmas and into this new year, a word … one word … kept coming to mind.

Strong.

As this gem repeated from various sources, I realized it was a love note from God. So I tucked it away in my heart. Not too far, because I had an inkling I’d need it.

And oh my friend do I need it. As I grow from being an author to booking speaking engagements … I whisper it a lot.

Strong.

God often tosses us into new things before we feel ready, doesn’t He? One reason we don’t feel ready is because we have these darn human limitations telling us, “Nope. Can’t do it. It’s too hard.”

In 2 Corinthians 12, the apostle Paul has a “thorn in the flesh.” We don’t know his limitation, but three times he begs the Lord to take it away. Each time, God says:

“My grace [presence, unmerited divine assistance] is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

And here’s Paul’s response:

“Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness.” ~ 2 Cor. 12:10

I love this paradox. How God flips the script on our human reasoning. What we see as weakness, He sees as the perfect place to show up strong ~ in us, for us, and through us.

Where do you need God to show up strong? May we let it happen and find that sweet spot where our human limitations meet His limitless power.

“When I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Cor. 12:10

Do you have a word or promise that helps you in this new year? I’d love to hear about it.

To receive encouragement & to know where I’m speaking next, Subscribe above & receive my free monthly newsletter. Also receive a free gift: download & print a 15 page study/prayer guide, “Renew Your Mind & Reclaim Your Peace.”

☮💗

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Having an Un-Traditional Christmas?

by Robin Melvin Leave a Comment

“…Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made…Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better …” ~ Luke 10:40-42

Our military moves kept us far from family. For seven years, we packed our two little boys into or Honda Civic and traveled home for Christmas. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, we’d dash to see all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

We returned home with a trunk stuffed with gifts but our Christmas cheer was lost somewhere between Grandma’s house and exit 145. We were exhausted amid mountains of laundry and sugared up kids.

It felt like we missed Christmas. So the next year we stayed home and started our own family traditions.

In this season made for celebrating Jesus, what’s depleting your energy and Christmas cheer?

Gift-buying? Decorating? Maybe you dread being with people who, year after year, are just plain difficult. Maybe you’re grieving someone who won’t be there. Maybe you’re exhausted trying to keep up with traditions.

I want to share a bit of encouragement from Lori Ann Wood, a friend who was forced into a difficult holiday season.

“I’ve learned to give myself grace to live the holiday season that is placed in my hands right now. To let go of the should-be’s and the ideals [of traditions.] To grasp the unique joy that only this season of life can offer.”

“If you’re having an untraditional Christmas this year, it may be the perfect time to start making some new memory moments. Whether you’re missing someone or somewhere or something that used to form traditions, your unusual holiday can be fertile ground for planting some brand-new memories. And maybe by letting go of some traditions, we are leaving more space for what’s coming—the Ultimate Gift.”

Read Lori Ann’s “Help to Survive An Untraditional Christmas”

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☮💗 Robin

Find Your Rhythm of Rest

by Robin Melvin Leave a Comment

Years ago in October, when my grandson Braden was nine, he taught me a new color and a new word.

“Come on Meema, you gotta see this! But hurry or we’re gonna miss it!” Grabbing my hand, he led me around a row of pine trees and pointed to the sky beyond the cornfields.

The sunset was spectacular. Unlike any I’d ever seen. The sun was huge at the center of abundant color that spanned the whole western sky. So, we spoke in whispers into the sacred silence.

“Braden, what color is that?

“Oh, that’s porange. You know, pink and orange.”

We were quiet. And the world was quiet.

And the huge, fluorescent porange ball floated down through gray-blue sky until it finally sank into the black tree-lined horizon.

This holy moment reminded me of sabbath rest, real soul rest.

Did you know the Jewish Sabbath begins at sunset Friday and ends at sunset on Saturday? Jesus grew up observing this invitation to slow down, stop, and enter God’s rest.

What if our daily rhythm is backwards? What if tomorrow started tonight? What if, instead of going to bed with a head full of worry, we start a new day?

This bedtime routine helps me. An hour or so before bedtime, I disconnect from screens. I find a quiet space away from phone, TV, computer, and people. Separated from noise, I center in. I slow my brain and breathe deep.

Sometimes I read. Sometimes I pray. Sometimes all I can do is whisper Jesus’ name. This nightly rhythm of rest is good for mind, spirit, and body.

When we’re exhausted, it’s easy for worry or stress to overwhelm us. So, we intentionally interrupt our thoughts and center them on our truest source of peace.

When noise, demands, and distractions are gone ~ there’s just you and Jesus.

Wrapped in His compassion, you have courage to review the day ~ to see where you rocked it and where it rocked you.

Soaking in grace, God reminds you that you’re doing better than you think. You are human. You are held. You are forgiven.

And it’s a brand new day.

So then when the sun rises, before our heads even leave the pillow, we hold on to this Rest. Even though the world didn’t stop its frantic pace. And all our problems aren’t erased. But staying in God’s presence, we rise above it all.

Because we know that when the world is loud, our God is not silent.

From sunset to sunset, our Creator invites us to watch and listen for the sacred to descend. And we stand in awe. Hushed in holy moments.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace … Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ~ Jesus, in Matthew 11:28-30

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